Question for the audience:

Which of these do you prefer the most, and why?

I'll post my own feelings later.

Thoughts on a Saturday afternoon while working in the backyard

Trimming back the fig plant that's grown over from a neighbor's side of the wall, I discover two bird nests. Long abandoned, it pleased me to see that someone has been getting some use from the thing.
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While growing up, it was us kids who mowed the lawn on the weekend, not Jose & Pablo the day before trash pick-up. Are you a) worried about illegal immigration, b) having trouble paying the bills, and c) concerned your kids don't get exercise? Kill three birds with one stone and get the family together to do it. You lazy white bastards...
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Birdsong: Mother Nature's equivalent of a guy in a pimped-out car blasting music through the neighborhood. "Hey, baby, come look at my feathers! You like? I make you some chicks, baby." This, in turn, makes my mowing the lawn the equal of cockblocking.
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Refrigerator magnet: Slyly snide 30-something lady in a trendy restaurant having coffee. "If it's expensive, I'll eat it." Really? Here, have some plutonium, you grasping trendwhore.
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I made a chocolate muffin come out my nose this morning.